Cowboy Bebop Session #22: Cowboy Funk

The uneven adventures of Cowboy BeBop continue.

Inside a tall building a teddy bear is placed upon a railing by a security guard who makes his way down an escalator giggling. He's slightly disturbed no doubt. Spike surprises him by handing him the teddy bear he left behind. Spike makes the man an offer to join him for some hotel prison fun. That is one helluva kick! It hurts my crotchel area just looking at him make that high kick. Spike calls him Teddy Bommer [this is not my spelling error, but how his name is actually spelled]. Teddy Bommer knows Spike. He tells Spike his type dreads being caught by him or Cowboy Andy. Cowboy Andy? Spike wonders exactly who Cowboy Andy is. Spike just doesn't get the Teddy Bommer.

Suddenly a burst through the window glass and Cowboy Andy arrives riding upon his noble stead, a chess playing Onyx apparently. Strikingly, Andy looks like a blond version of Spike. He holds Spike at gunpoint believing him to be Teddy Bommer. Spike chases the real Teddy Bommer who makes his escape. Andy stops Spike by throwing a lasso around him. Andy is clearly an idiot. He just doesn't have a clue. Nevertheless, the bomb ignites creating a major explosion in the building. Andy rides off leaving Spike knocked down to the ground. Welcome to more of the zany antics of Cowboy Bebop with Session #22, Cowboy Funk.

Ed does some historical database research on Andy and finds he was a member of the YMCA [Young Men's Cowboy Association]. He definitely looks like one of the Village People. Not surprisingly, Andy was kicked out for being a nuisance to others. Shocker! He's clearly an annoyance to Spike right off the bat. He seems to make a mess of things without having to try very hard. There's very little Spike can do to halt his incompetence.

Spike and friends stake out one of the buildings in the hopes of tracking down the Teddy Bommer. At a costumed gala, Spike and Jet spot the fairly inconspicuous Teddy Bommer. That's a joke. He's dressed somewhat ironically as, um, err, a teddy bear. The jig is up and who happens to arrive on scene, none other than our boy Cowboy Andy. Nutsy Andy points a gun at Jet certain he is the Teddy Bommer. What an idiot. It's actually painful to see him arrive. Then he points another gun at Spike. This guy is a major reject. Damn it! Spike tells him they met just yesterday and Andy boy doesn't have two brain cells to rub together. Meanwhile, Teddy Bommer is not happy about being ignored and pushes the button to his latest bomb. Chaos ensues. Teddy Bommer makes his getaway while Andy and Faye are in hot pursuit astride Onyx.

The pursuit leads to a chase by Spike in the Swordfish and all manner of explosions are created amidst the civilian population. Always good. With the Teddy bomber's getaway car disabled it looks all clear for Cowboy Andy to take him down, but instead he rides right on by instead making haste toward reeling in Spike. Cowboy Andy is a bloody, freakin' miracle of human function.

The sultry Faye is brought back to the gaudy home of Cowboy Andy for a little son-of-a-gun stew. It's clear why some would dread the arrival of Cowboy Andy, because he is a threat to anyone within the circumfrence of his airspace. "Why don't we drink to me and my reflection in your lovely eyes. Cheers." Okay. I suspect Faye is game for a good meal, but at this cost I'm not so sure.

On the BeBop, Faye brings back some of the stew from Andy's place. Jet reckons Andy pushes Spike's buttons. Spike gets heated. Faye thinks there alot alike. Spike doesn't see it. Frankly, apart from appearance, their night and day in the common sense department. Faye knows how to tune up Spike with the best of them though. The crew tunes into their favorite bounty hunter show Big Shots for more on Teddy Bommer. Ed has Teddy Bommer's strategy mapped out. His targets are by height.

A homage to classic science fiction film Flash Gordon starring Sam Jones.

Spike is bound and determined to take Teddy down. The two meet again and Teddy is just off the rails and out of his rocker in his efforts to make a name for himself. He yearns for attention and doesn't appear to want to really hurt anyone, but rather send a message. He's got some real mommy issues. Okay, so if a bomb goes off and kills hundreds of people, c'est la vie, what's a bombing nut to do? Spike listens to Teddy, but here comes crazy Andy. Spike and Andy battle and are seemingly more at odds than the two are with the bomber. Proving out this simple fact, Teddy Bommer attempts to explain why it is he enjoys blowing things up, but once again, to no avail, no one listens to him. He is quit epossibly the most frustrated, attention-seeking, terrorist bomber in the galaxy. "WHY WON'T YOU LISTEN TO ME!?" "Shut up, who are you?" yells Spike and Andy in unison back at the disrespected Teddy Bommer. I'm not sure hostage negotiators would want tips from Spike and Andy despite Spike's clearly rattled, distracted frustration with stinkin' Andy. Another explosion results as the Andy Spike feud continues unabated and unresolved.

Note the profiles. The animators altered hair color in physical appearance, but not much else. Spike really has met his match.

Spike and Andy head to the top of the building in a glass elevator where Teddy, standing outside of it, tells them it will go to the top of the building and explode on impact when it reaches his exploding teddy bears. So much for his lack of interest in killing people. Spike needs to think fast. He flips the hatch to the top of the elevator. Spike and Andy tussle their way to the top and the explosion occurs upon reaching the 100th floor.

On the ground below, Teddy Bommer is given a beauty of a right hook by Faye Valentine. He goes down with a splash of blood. Meanwhile with the apex of the top of the building completely wiped out, Spike and Andy hang on by a thread. Faye and Jet watch via binoculars as the two are caught up in an unflinching, unwavering battle of ego competing for supremacy over their domain as bounty hunters. Faye wraps up the Teddy Bommer.

At the building's pinnacle, with the whistling sound of music, The Good, The Bad And The Ugly style, Spike and Andy square off like gunmen from a spaghetti western. Here is the well-drawn conclusion to this bizarre rivalry. Note the change of color to give us the flavor of the genre complete with the sun setting.

By and large it seems comical to see Spike fume over his inability to outmatch his opponent who is clearly charmed with a good batch of infuriating luck. Andy is a complete and utter idiot and Spike just can't believe he is losing to this guy trhoughout the entry.

In a bizarre turn, Andy finally relents and tells Spike, "you win." He considers Spike the real deal, the real mccoy, the real thing, a real cowboy and tells Spike he's retiring. He bids farewell, "see you space cowboy." Spike calls him out his league, not an adversary and someone he really held nothing against. Spike really lost it with that guy. Andy rides off into the sunset eventhough he's really on top of a building.

In the end, Teddy Bommer rants of his desire to send a warning to those who needlessly proliferate the galaxy with unchecked, undisciplined capitalism. He sees Cowboy Andy ride by his vehicle one last time, except this time lunatic Andy is now Samurai Andy. WOW. Andy is like an indepently wealthy man child. This is some crazy ass cowboy funk!

Cowboy Funk: B