Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Kirk & Bones: The Great Ice Planet Adventure: Part 8: Scotch Rescue

Bones: Boy we sure are glad to see you Scotty. I didn't see you beam down.

Scotty: Aye, good to see you boys. I beamed down over beyond the bushes there.

Kirk: Well Mr. Scott it's good to see you indeed. We've been freezing down here.

Scotty: Aye. The temperatures on the planet have really been messing with my transporter and my ability to locate ya can.

Bones: Well, I reckon we don't have long Scotty, the temps are dipping again.

Scotty: Aye.

Kirk: Scotty, you didn't happen to see a tall blonde woman on your way here.

Scotty: No sir Captain or the haggie'd be in the fire for sure.

Bones: Huh? What does that mean? Nevermind. I don't want to know.

Kirk: Bones, Haggis is a traditional Scottish dish of animal's intestines stuffed with sheep's heart, lungs, liver, minced onion, oatmeal, spices, suet, salt, stock and boiled into a explosive taste fiesta.

Scotty: Aye.

Bones: Jesus. You know how to ruin a guy's appetite.

Scotty: Well McCoy I canna' change the laws of physics.

Bones: What does that have anything to do with an animal's intestines?

Scotty: Aye. Not sure, but I like to say things like that.

Kirk: Gentlemen, perhaps we should remove ourselves from this lifeless rock and head back to the Enterprise before it's too late.

Scotty: Aye Captain.

Bones: Would you happen to have a tasty tenderized steak ready for us back at the ship?

Scotty: Aye McCoy, the haggie is in the fire for sure.

Bones: Damn it Scotty, would you stop that? Steak for God's sake man! Red-blooded, steroid-injected, good, old-fashioned steak! Am I not speaking English?

Scotty: Aye sir, haggie sir.

Bones: You are maddening.

Kirk: How 'bout a Scotch? Lead us home Mr. Scott.

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