Kirk & Bones: The Polar Plunge

Kirk: I just love the smell of New Year in the morning.

Bones: I hear you Jim. Makes you feel alive. It's like being born again.

Kirk: Well Bones, I'm sure you're fighting that undeniable urge to strip down naked and go for a swim in sub zero ocean waters like me.

Bones: Yes. Nothing at all wrong with that.

Kirk: Perfectly normal behavior for a couple of fellows with nothing better to do but wet our whistles in these icy cool temps.

Bones: Perhaps we should take our shirts and boots off.

Kirk: My friend, we're Starfleet officers. We will wear our shirts, briefs and boots.

Bones: I suppose. Besides, our boots are screwed into our legs. This can't be any less pleasant than that. Most people would say you'd have to have plastic for brains to do something like this Jim, but not us though.

Kirk: No sir. We relish the challenge.

Bones: Damn it Jim I'm a doctor, not a ---

Kirk: Stop! I know, polar bear!

Bones: Well, actually I was going to say penguin, but right. You have the idea. Anyway, stop taunting me with such fun. The point is I just can't stand it anymore. We must plunge into the ice cold waters, harden our nipples and hope for pneumonia.

Kirk: Shall we then?

Bones: Let's.

Footnote: God bless those who like to do it, but I never could understand the Polar Plunge. Some do it for charity. That's nice. Some do it because they're just out of their freakin' minds. I would have liked to provide you with some location shooting at the local beach. Unfortunately that was just way too risky. There were far too many people to go running around with two naked dol...errr action figures, which is why special effects have been applied to my driveway. Having said that I'm not sure who is crazier.