Wednesday, October 16, 2013

Monsters

"Right on the other side of that wall is America, so we're very close."
-Andrew Kaulder-
"Do you think the wall will keep the creatures out of America?"
-Samantha Wynden-





















Of course, if we weren't talking about keeping the actual alien invaders out of America we might be talking about keeping the illegal aliens out of the country with that proposed wall.  So the answer to Samantha's question is no, and Edwards is clearly referring to human beings, but the enforcement of law wouldn't hurt.  Crossing the border and other political undercurrents are clearly in focus for Gareth Edwards' Monsters (2010). All of it is handled with a mostly subtle touch allowing the art, the visuals and the overall journey experience speak to viewers.  We've been enjoying a kind of epic run on kaiju films and it continues fittingly with Monsters (kaiju).







Sign of the times.


























When British-based Monsters arrived in cinemas it was one of those films I admired from afar, cautiously sizing it up from a safe distance like a fearful civilian watching a city trampled by Godzilla.  It opened to reasonably good reviews, but, generally speaking, I wasn't sold on it.  My expectations were probably initially higher, much as they were for Pacific Rim (2013).  But like that latter film, those expectations waned.  Pacific Rim proved to be a massive spectacle of a treat - good, old-fashioned sci-fi adventure.  Pacific Rim seemed to balance the big and bold just right.  It was surprising even to me.   I've never been particularly big or drawn to loud, obnoxious, over-the-top action and science fiction films.  The Transformers continues to disappoint.  Pacific Rim managed to remain intelligent enough to take "Big, Dumb Fun," as Blu-Ray.com called it, to the extraordinary next level and played logically within its imagined universe.  Pacific Rim created "Monstrously Entertaining Escapism."





So you would think a seemingly more subdued, quieter, smaller monster movie like Monsters would draw me out of hiding.  If Pacific Rim offered a successful, epic, colorful vision from director Guillermo del Toro, how does director Gareth Edwards, the future visionary behind Godzilla (2014) fare?  It was important for me to find out.



The writing was on the wall.  I had to see Monsters. With Monsters: Dark Continent (2014) and, ironically, director of Monsters Gareth Edwards slated to helm the massive Godzilla (2014) re-launch for next summer, I had to experience for myself what the director would have to offer a Godzilla reboot and what one might expect from the man behind Monsters especially if he was handling the biggest monster of them all and arguably the greatest science fiction character of all-time.  I was intrigued more than ever and really wanted to give Monsters a proper look.





Monsters clearly had the pioneering, indie spirit of Neil Blomkamp's South African-based District 9 (2009) and even shined next to the overblown Avatar (2009) that same year.  District 9 became the must see science fiction film of the year and it was made on a $30 million dollar shoestring.  Avatar cost $237 million and it looked all of that, but the gritty little District 9 was a true sci-fi fan's dream picture.  The Blomkamp picture made nearly 211 million dollars at the box office.  Could and would the equally ambitious Monsters enjoy a similar fate?

Well, probably not, and it didn't, but Monsters did garner significant critical attention and put many on notice that Edwards was someone to watch.



On a budget of just $500,000 dollars (are you effing kidding me!?) Monsters turned a profit and wowed this Sci-Fi Fanatic?  Edwards delivered $4 million to the box office, but is Monsters worth the same kind of praise District 9 was afforded?  Would it look as big and bold as that Blomkamp classic?  Is that even fair?  In economic terms, comparing Monsters to District 9 is a bit like comparing District 9 to Transformers.  So that comparison isn't entirely fair, but the spirit of that comparison is indeed true.  Sometimes the smaller these films get the more impressive they become. You simply cannot put a price tag on the passion of an idea and the vision of a dream.  Films like District 9, Bong Joon-ho's The Host (2006; $11 million budget) and Monsters continually bear that belief out.  What could Monsters have possibly offered to capture the attention of major studios and give him the shot required to land Edwards a gig helming a new film starring one of the greatest monsters to ever live?  It's time to knock down some buildings and investigate Edwards' INFECTED ZONE.



Almost immediately one senses an almost sister soldier moment with the people of Japan as the affected areas of Central America and Mexico essentially live under the threat of monsters.



The Monsters aesthetic presents a visually stunning film when considering the film's pint-sized budget limitations.  Monsters is a gritty, dirty, lived-in-world thanks to location shooting.  I'm not sure what that says about the locations?  There's nothing Hollywood about it and yet it is a strikingly beautiful picture.  Edwards handled all of the cinematographic responsibilities. How did the stunning cinematography and film stock alone not eat up Edwards' budget?  What about the script?  Oh, Edwards again. Monsters is an on the ground guerrilla film if ever there was one.







The film is a simple idea but essentially fleshed out in mood and atmosphere.  There are found footage-styled moments caught with the camera like Cloverfield, but Monsters thankfully never overextends the approach.  It is used sparingly and with a variety of color tones.





To further amplify the affect of the infected zone, the result of a NASA crash that collected alien samples, music, is applied both diegetically (drawn from an on screen source like a radio) from Spanish-based radio as well as non-diegetically through score-based applications and placed over the entirety of a scene to impact mood by the subtle approach of composer Jon Hopkins.  However employed Edwards has self-crafted impressively.  It's nothing short of a miracle in film making.



The focus of the film is around a male photographer and a beautiful blonde female, played by Scoot McNairy and Whitney Able respectively (both married in real life).  The two actors are clearly working at a reduced salary or potentially as a result of dark secrets of which Edwards used as a bargaining tool. That's a joke.



Initially before seeing the film, I had been concerned about a lack of actual monsters in a film called Monsters.  It's a fear I don't share for Edwards' upcoming Godzilla.  If I see the big guy for a third of the film - classic Toho style and Showa era style- then I'll be more than pleased.  What struck me as I watched the film was how I simply embraced the mood of Edwards' picture and the character journey.  The monsters were indeed secondary.  Hopkins' score drew me into the flight of its two characters and I began to forget about the monsters.  This is precisely the kind of monster drama you want from a director.  Character-based science fiction wins the day every time and Monsters proved to me that Edwards understood, regardless of budgetary restraints, that he wanted his picture to feel real, flesh and blood with characters in a genuine crisis.  This wasn't going to be a comic book approach with transforming trucks or critters.  The lives of people within an infected zone were indeed very much at stake and Edwards creates that atmosphere to brilliant effect.





As the picture progresses, like District 9, Monsters delivers an ever so subtle political message that never preaches.  While I don't always agree with these messages I enjoy being challenged to consider the substance of these ideas.  Please don't force feed this animal.  As Andrew Kaulder (McNairy) and Samantha Wynden (Able) traverse the landscape of Central America and Mexico's infected area making their way to the US border, Monsters paints a portrait of a people attempting to escape their own impoverished fates looking for passage to America.  Who can't relate to that?







Kaulder shakes hands and Wynden speaks Spanish with the kindly locals (and some not so kindly as their ferry tickets and passports are stolen) they meet on their efforts to make their way to freedom and out of the Infected Zone.  In effect, Edwards puts a face on these immigrants as survivors.  He humanizes a political conundrum. Is the Infected Zone analogous to passage through Mexico to reach the freedom of the states?  Are these people attempting to deal with the monsters within their own borders - drugs, corrupt government, etc...? Monsters certainly poses these real political and cultural realities without telling us how we should feel.  Images across their landscape suggest the politics of Monsters is about immigration including a monster-sized border fence.  Are those who would halt such an effort the actual monsters?  Edwards wonders. Application for citizenship is a law and requirement of sovereign nations.  Period.  But the respect of national sovereignty and the rule of law is certainly not a popular value today.  Sadly, laws are written and broken and today new laws are written to replace already penned and unenforced ones so that one day those laws too can be broken.  Excuses and permissive behavior override good, sound judgment in today's America.  Without proper laws, well, we will be another country.  So the monsters are indeed amongst us. Monsters offers plenty for reflection and the picture should be applauded on that level too.  As Blu-Ray.com suggested, this film might have been better titled simply Aliens, if it weren't for strong association and identification with James Cameron's own landmark film.





Only when the characters push the envelope with statements like "It's different looking at America from the outside-in.  ... when you get home it's so easy to forget all this.  I mean tomorrow we'll be back to our... lives, in our perfect suburban homes." Come on. That's called taking me out of the moment. What is unsaid is far more powerful than these trite statements.  America is a big place and not everyone lives like that even in America.  Monsters is far more effective in making statements when it says nothing at all and works strictly through visuals, images and music. Images and symbols sometimes suggest a tattered American dream whether its a frayed American flag, giant walls or Infected Zone signs and gas masks that dart the landscape just beyond America's borders.  These are certainly images with real power.  I can even get behind this idea, but it's the how we got there we might disagree.







(SPOILER) In one of the film's most existential moments I was asked to question if Edwards played the moment correctly.  The photographer happens upon a dead child and he is left with a decision to either photograph the child or not.  Photographing the dead is indeed economically rewarding.  At first, I felt the moment seemed disingenuous, but after some consideration, with all that has transpired, wondered to myself that in fact I might make the same decision if placed within the same circumstances.  Ultimately one begins to ponder the meaning of existence at a certain point and the reality of circumstances starts to dictate what matters and doesn't matter.  It becomes that simple.  Edwards captures the sincerity of that moment and the value of life no matter our place in the world.  Still, photographers need to live to and make not just a living but document the horrors of war no matter how difficult the circumstances.  We certainly cannot judge them as human beings on the terms of their mission. (END SPOILER)



As far as political messages go, our understanding is that we can't keep the aliens out or at bay, not by a wall, not by guns.  Of course, we already knew that. Is Edwards telling us we shouldn't bother having borders at all? Because the message is hey, the monsters or illegal aliens are here to stay, they're mating and their beautiful.  It is certainly one message in the film.



But as sheer monster movie escapism Monsters is a quiet, slow burn.  This is no Pacific Rim, but you knew that.  The notable monster effects are impressive if minimal.  When the translucent, Abyss-like creatures egg sacks flicker on the tree or a tentacle peers up over a crashed jet fighter in the water it is almost magically captured thanks to Edwards approach.  There's an almost hypnotic, hot, dream-like quality to the picture.  The evidence that Edwards will do something special with Godzilla is indeed in evidence and with a more substantial budget I do expect bigger things to come.  How on God's green Earth Edwards was able to make this picture on his budget is nothing short of jaw-dropping.  Based on the evidence here, Edwards is really the perfect choice for the film.  And Ishiro Honda never shied away from political statements when helming his own interpretations of the great lizard. Edwards will likely come up with something special.



The Austin Chronicle called Monsters "The best monster movie of the millennium."  That praise may be a bit excessive to be fair.  Twitchfilm.com called it "a remarkable achievement" as a more than average alien invasion picture and that praise is much more credible.  I was truly impressed with the cinematography. Even when a lot really isn't happening and the picture takes in quiet moments, the picture is beautiful.  It's astounding what was captured on film and how the computer effects are applied to open it up to epic effect.  They are seamless within the story, once again, thanks to Edwards own talents.



The final third of the film has a few gripping The Mist-like moments in horror tone and I adored The Mist (2007; $18 million budget).  The monsters are creepy and effectively glimpsed and easily large enough to qualify for Japan's fantastical kaiju eiga category, once again, shining a spotlight on Edwards as the man who could bring Godzilla out of the wilderness and back to prominence properly and in the spirit of the Japanese classics.



Despite an exciting final ten minutes of the film there's not enough substantial thrills for me to vehemently get behind Monsters.  It doesn't have the same kind of excitement that moved District 9 along.  I suppose therein lies the different in $29.5 million dollars.  But what Edwards achieved in the span of 94 minutes is simply awesome on its own merit.  There are some breathtaking moments.  I don't want to discount Monsters as insubstantial or as a lengthy trailer to what Edwards could bring to a much larger budget, but I do suspect he can bring it based on the evidence here.



Monsters is a rather solid politically-infused morality play with a sprinkling of sizable effects.  A more action-based and robust Monsters thriller might play like Battle: Los Angeles (2011) or Steven Spielberg's War Of The Worlds (2005), which is why Monsters isn't those films.  Monsters realizes its limitations and Edwards approaches his alien invasion as one that has already happened.  They are here.  They live amongst us like John Carpenter's They Live (1988), another low budget gem at $3 million.  But on a dime, Monsters is a gem of indie cinema invention and a real taster of Edwards potential especially given his ability to flesh out caring for a character in 90 minutes. Edwards also handles the political tone of his film mostly effectively.  His creatures are also created with subtlety but to awesome effect.  Most importantly the growth of his two principal characters culminates in a rather believable final and beautiful moment in the film. That moment follows an equally stirring moment juxtaposed against two alien life forms howling, groaning and connecting almost romantically.  The creatures are like two great humpback whales.  Edwards delivers a universally held belief that life, whether alien or foreign is simply attempting to survive, find its place and belong. In essence, we all yearn for these same things, these basic animal drives.  Edwards' journey is indeed an organic one as these passages of the heart can be glimpsed in all life.





I'm optimistic about Godzilla based on the effort put forth here on $500,000 bucks.  How does that happen!? I'm simply in awe over that.  The gutsy Edwards proves anything is possible with a vision, intelligence and a camera.  Trailblazers like director Makoto Shinkai would understandably be proud.  Trust me Edwards, you should be too, and we're behind you all the way.





Monsters: B. Writer: Gareth Edwards. Director: Gareth Edwards.













The Extras: You will discover a good deal of information on the extras provided with the Monsters release.  Much background is provided regarding Brit Gareth Edwards and his experience as a visual effects expert.  What the self-starting Edwards achieves with a home computer and software reminded me of the kind of vision and ingenuity that put Japanese director Makoto Shinkai (2002- Voices Of A Distant Star) on the map making films in animation with a similarly held approach and philosophy.  Working very much from an uncompromising home-based computing angle Shinkai and Edwards achieve much across their rearing in filmmaking.















Edwards brings much of that economy to Monsters making his film utilizing guerilla tactics. Working from a generally unscripted work, the film looks like much more than it has any right to look.  So based on his budget and his own personal interest Edwards created the anti-Monster film to Cloverfield and War Of The Worlds, a planet where monsters living amongst us has become commonplace.  One can't help but be tickled by the idea that the mighty Godzilla (2014) will see Edwards take this humble mindset and this approach along with him. The man thinks with a refreshing originality.  That can only benefit avoiding the clichés of a large scale Godzilla production.  We're always open to trademark Godzilla-isms (the classic roar, people running, tanks) but something refreshing in style and story will be a welcomed departure for the Big G.  Edwards might just be the man to do it.

Wednesday, October 9, 2013

Star Trek: TNG S1 Ep16: Too Short A Season

"The quest for youth Number One - so futile.
Age and wisdom have their graces too."
-Captain Jean-Luc Picard-



It comes with the territory of a TV-sized budget that every now and again effects and/or production, make-up, etc. are subject to receive some degree of criticism in retrospect as a series surely ages.  How fitting Star Trek: The Next Generation, Season One, Episode 16, Too Short A Season, should apply a theme involving the aging process.















Too Short A Season, even upon release, was indicted by some critics and fans for its make-up application to guest performer Clayton Rohner in the role of an aged Admiral Mark Jameson (the first Starfleet admiral to appear on ST:TNG).  Jameson is lured into a crisis via the Enterprise-D and Captain Jean-Luc Picard to handle a terrorist/hostage negotiation orchestrated by Karnas who specifically requests Jameson be involved.

ST:TNG's sojourn into aging as plot mechanism has been a staple of science fiction.  Nothing new there, but it's always in the delivery, the interpretation and the hopefully refreshing new twists.  Sadly, Too Short A Season fails on that latter front.







There is of course the natural aging process, the unnatural aging forward process and the unnatural aging backwards process. Too Short A Season poses a scenario involving the latter.  Such a scenario would one day resonate powerfully for director David Fincher's The Curious Case Of Benjamin Button (2008), a true delight of a film, based on the short story of the same name by author F. Scott Fitzgerald published in 1922.





Star Trek: The Original Series employed its own use of make-up accordingly for The Deadly Years, which also plotted an aging-themed entry within the annals of classic TrekST:TOS certainly provided its fair share of inspiration for the inaugural first season of ST:TNG and its writers - without question.



Personally, my issues have absolutely nothing to do with the make-up (more on that in a moment) and everything to do with the rather unconvincing, over-the-top portrayal of Jameson by Rohner.  Rohner really hams up the aged angle and is less than believable in the spot.  He moves far too quickly as an elder and his facial jarring back and forth is simply overdone and over the top.  Critic Zack Handlen noted Rohner acted "like a Muppet when he's supposed to be elderly and weak." Handlen also noted his youthful angst later in the episode.  Rohner transforms his youth into that of a spoilt and irrational child.  It's simply too much to believe.





As far as the make-up goes, I don't really find fault with the production team on the matter at all.  It's no less credible that Space:1999's Black Sun or ST:TOS' The Deadly Years and those entries are wonderful.  Seeing Too Short A Season today and I found the make-up still looks as good as one might expect.  Despite the fact everyone seems to tow the party line on the make-up as "sub-par" according to Larry Nemecek in The Star Trek: The Next Generation Companion, this is far superior to most programming.  To be picking on the make-up production seems to be missing the point of poor scripting and poor performance.  Funny enough, Kathryn Powers married writer Michael Michaelian.  Powers wrote the less than stellar Code Of Honor earlier in the season and Stargate SG-1 Emancipation.  Gosh, I've been awfully tough on these writers.  But even D.C. Fontana couldn't rectify the problems with this one.  A story device centered on an embraceable admiral regressing backwards in age to its logical conclusion of that process (the anti-Alpha Child of Space:1999) would have been far more interesting than the distracting plot threads that muck up the works here. Truth be told, and to my surprise, Fontana tightened up the terror trap thread and it was Michaelian's original intent to see the man regress to age fourteen and lose memory of his wife.  Now, that's a story I would sign up for (wink).

There is a great use of lighting by director Rob Bowman.





With regard to the make-up though, honestly, there is something about Star Trek's approach to make-up that walks the line of being entirely sound and grounded in reality but also gives the appearance of something otherworldly and fantastical as integrated so successfully on a series like The Twilight Zone (1959-1964). Take the Japanese for example, they are exceptional at embracing these fantasy aspects in their cinema and television, but Americans (except those that have embraced the fantasy work of Toho) have always found it difficult to suspend disbelief unless it is so perfect it can manage to somehow trick the mind.  But, like ST:TOS, this ST:TNG work is wonderful and there is something magical about the production team's input that work wonders on these series.  If audiences in general want their television and cinema to be realistic, I find it fascinating they are all so awfully forgiving of the CGI monstrosities that grace the silver screen even today.  I'll happily accept the work provided on a series like ST:TNG and its predecessors any day.  It's not even a close call between the make-up here or computer applied effects (unless painstakingly applied with care and precision - for example in the case of The Curious Case Of Benjamin Button).  Why people (director Bowman was a critic too) make such a fuss of these things is boggling.  There is nothing to be ashamed of here and certainly carries the same kind of weight and magic found in Star Trek's The Menagerie.  Go figure.   Michael Westmore and Werner Keppler were the make-up team and also applied the same make-up work to DeForest Kelly in Season One opener Encounter At Far Point.





As far as the story, Jameson suffers from Iverson's disease which effects the body.  Like Christopher Pike in The Menagerie, Jameson has been confined to a support chair for four years, but is apparently getting stronger and looking younger with each passing day since arriving on the Enterprise-D.  And unfortunately there is no known cure for Iverson's disease.





Picard discovers from Jameson that a negotiation for Cerebus III earned him access to an alien rejuvenation process by drug.  Jameson received the process and it is working but not without complications.

En route to Mordan IV it is revealed that it is Karnas that holds the hostages.  It is also clear that Karnas seeks revenge on Jameson thus the reason for his summoning.





It was a subspace transmission that requested Picard essentially deliver Jameson.  But Jameson, too, is eager to engage Karnas and using his status as Admiral has all but assured that he will have full control of the Away Team for this mission.

The truth is inevitably revealed that Jameson violated the Prime Directive years prior providing arms to Karnas, as well as his rivals, plunging a planet into four decades of ruinous civil war. "I started it. I lit the match."  Jameson also falsified Federation documents.  Jameson is indeed a troubled, haunted man.







It seems undeniable that ST:TNG was indeed channelling current events of the day.  ST:TOS often incorporated analysis and reflection in its own series particularly when looking at The Vietnam War (1955-1975), whilst here Too Short A Season (1988) appears to be incontrovertibly holding the mirror up to the Iran-Contra Affair (1985-1987) and the events surrounding the arms for hostages negotiations that became a scandal for the Ronald Reagan administration involving Oliver North and others.  This is indubitably a reflection of those events and perhaps a further questioning of the symbolic nature of the Prime Directive through our own American foreign policy of which we currently have none.



When Jameson beams down with the Away Team, Picard is highly concerned and joins him.  Picard's concern is for his crew.  Worf, Geordi La Forge, Data and Tasha Yar beam down with Jameson and Picard.  Once again Picard, the Captain of the ship is beamed into a highly volatile and hostile situation where his life is very much on the line.  Captain James T. Kirk often led the charge and realists have often criticized this variable of Star Trek.  But if everything was played precisely by the book we wouldn't have much of a science fiction drama now would we?

A very dicey situation forces a quick return for the team.  And away the away team goes back to the ship.







Ultimately Too Short A Season fails to shore up in the logic department.  Troubled, guilt-ridden man or not, why would Jameson be so hell bent on returning to this ill-fated disaster?  The character certainly doesn't seem like a man with the weight of years of torment on his shoulders, but that could be the fault of Rohner in the role.  Additionally, the alien rejuvenation process as the reason for the aging process is mildly interesting if a bit random and implausible here.  So Jameson discovers the fountain of youth and the first thing he wants to do is risk life and limb in a hostage negotiation.  Does he have no loyalty to his wife?  What about those golden years and perhaps enjoying the freedom of youth again?  But Jameson yearns for atonement even if Rohner doesn't sell this in the character.  Too Short A Season is long on leaps of suspension and simply didn't entirely work for me.  This is an overly silly or uninteresting story compounded by weak guest performances.  The principals here are fine, but actually are relegated to a supporting cast for this one.  The two male guests aren't substantial enough to sell a weak story.  Rohner and Michael Pataki as Karnas (Pataki appeared as Klingon Korax in ST:TOS, S2, Ep15, The Trouble With Tribbles) are simply way too over dramatic in their performances.







Director Rob Bowman succinctly told Starlog Magazine that Too Short A Season was long on dialogue.  "That was a heavy-duty dialogue show, even by Star Trek standards.  It seemed like all that the people did in the script I read was sit around and talk.  It was a killer because a show like this runs the immediate risk of being boring.  This was a tough episode for a couple of reasons.  It wasn't really a Star Trek episode in the sense that it was about one of the regular characters.  It was more how they reacted to the other entity. The trick was to keep the regular characters motivated through a largely abstract storyline and thus keep the audience from switching channels."  (Starlog Magazine #136, p.24).  Once again, Bowman's remarks illustrate the problem with the focus on Rohner in the role.  With all of the groaning about lack of character development during the first season by a largely ensemble cast here is a whole episode lost to guest appearances. Denise Crosby, Gates McFadden and others would have relished the opportunity for something a little more substantial.  After all any season of television is too short.







And if Too Short A Season seems to have all of the wrong rhythms that echo the first half of ST:TNG, it should come as no surprise to learn that it was actually production Episode 12 in the season order even though it was aired as Episode 16.  In other words this one came before The Big Goodbye and after Justice, Hide And QThe Last Outpost and The Battle just to name a few relative lemons.

Sadly Too Short A Season does little to help the cause of the some times laborious, at times seemingly long Season One.  On a personal note, and I think you'll agree, one thing is true when it comes to aging it is far too short a season indeed.  This much we know.

Too Short A Season: D+.
Writer: Michael Michaelian, D.C. Fontana.
Director: Rob Bowman.









Patrick Stewart: Am I actually playing second fiddle to this fellow.  I'm a trained thespian.  By God, get rid of this man and make it so!

Tuesday, October 8, 2013

Science Fiction Non-Fiction: DeForest Kelley (Star Trek: The Next Generation)

"It's difficult to describe our feelings about The Next Generation.
You look at it and you think, 'Gee, is that a dream or something?
That's something we've already all done.'
It may be hard for the fans to understand, but it's a strange feeling for us to see this new group doing this thing that we had been so associated with for so many years."
 
-DeForest Kelley on mixed feelings toward Star Trek: The Next Generation (Starlog Magazine #143, p.40)-
 

Thursday, October 3, 2013

The Last Dinosaur Promo

The Last Dinosaur (1977) delivers intense drama, terrific science fiction adventure and wonderful old school special effects complements of Tsuburaya Productions.

What about that DVD cover art?  All of the excitement aside the last dinosaur (not actually the last mind you) never actually picks up one of the actors in the film.  Thus, even the box art, exemplifies the kind of artistic license and sense of fantasy that The Last Dinosaur indulges but also sells in spades.

And there is of course that 70s-styled theme song complete with award-winning lyrics to The Last Dinosaur:

Few men have ever done, what he has done.
Or even dreamed, what he has dreamed!
His time has passed! There are no more!
He is the Last…Di-no-saur!

Few men have even tried, what he has tried.
Most men have failed, where he’s prevailed!
His time has passed! There are no mo’!
He is the Last… Di-no-saur!


The world holds nothing new in store for him!
And things that startle you and me, are just a bore to him!
The spark of Life has gone.
His life grows dim!
And there is something left in the World to challenge him!


Few men have ever lived, as he has lived.
Or even walked, where he has walked!
His time has passed. There are no more.
He is the Last… Di-no-saur!
He is the Last… Di—no—saur.


Okay, there's clearly a hint of cheddar there, but that is one bold, fine pop number.  It's actually like the James Bond theme that never was with a touch of aged prehistoric Swiss.